I was intrinsically frustrated because I saw a continual pull from the current church paradigm that exists 'out there'. In curiosity, I visited some web sites of ministries and churches and it seems that there was so much busyness, so many agendas, so many programs, so many words - the complexity of the web pages made me lose a sense of peace. I simply believe that it has to be more simplistic than this. I also believe that true creativity will rise up and flow powerfully in a simplistic environment that simply rests in the power and plan of Holy Spirit. Was I naive and somewhat confused? I think not. In fact I actually think so different inside of me that I am never content with the norm or the mundane or the status quo. I seek change, not for the sake of change, but for the sake of creativity which is movement and where there is true Spirit led movement, there is faith. And where there is Biblically based faith, we move from glory to glory to glory. That is my desire to impart to people. Not to fit them into a program or a place but into Him.
So the Lord, in my frustration, simply said to me loud and clear - "Debra, match your paradigm to your picture." What on earth does that mean? Well on earth it means nothing because it came to me from heaven and so I must seek the Spirit in order to interpret what the Lord is saying to me.
Paradigm = a model of pattern for something that may be copied; a pattern; a framework
Picture = what I see inside of myself; the desires that God has placed deep within me; MY PICTURE
I saw that my paradigm and my picture were out of step and out of sync with the Holy Spirit. God made me, created me passionate and radical and creative. Yet my current paradigm was still influenced by the religious norm that is out there and I must break out of it or die. Now the wilderness was a great place of training to break out BUT when one comes BACK IN one sees that the current paradigm of the church's busyness and boredom is often like a magnet trying to pull you back in. I can't go back in. I can't and I won't. So where does that leave me?
Again my learning season is in establishing this ministry in Benicia. Where is it for you? How are you learning to match your paradigm with your picture? I have a picture of myself that I believe is from God. It is flowing against the norm. Leaning into Holy Spirit and flowing in prophetic song, declarations, purpose, direction, art, music, business and all of the above. It is a picture that God has given to me to flow.......to flow........to flow. Now flowing is not some flaky agenda that requires some manifestation but is a flow that requires us to befriend the Holy Spirit and allow Jesus Christ to be Lord of our life. He leads and we follow. And............when He leads there is always a move away from predictability and into creativity.
My picture did not match the paradigm. The paradigm that I operated by to a certain extent started with simple things that may seem crazy to you but not to me. I have been crying out for the Lord to show me a Holy Spirit form for Rivers of Eden. I don't want meetings at predictable times, conferences or gatherings for no reason. I don't want children's programs or women's programs or men's programs. I don't want. I don't want. But what is it I do want? The current paradigm of the church is like a magnet for someone like us starting to establish after spending so much time in the wilderness. The current paradigm pulls on you to fit in. They constantly tell you what won't work and how to just fit in and don't rock the boat. I can't and that is what led to the Lord speaking to me this way.
"Debra, match your paradigm to your picture."
I pray this is making sense to you somehow or someway. My paradigm has to be shattered. Jesus Christ said He would build His church and the gates of hell would not prevail against it. He would build it and I need to join into where He is going and leading us. For instance, I don't want programs. I want to just be simple and have simplicity rule and reign and trust God in all things. Does that sound naive? Well we will see because it is the way I want to walk from now on.
In going to see these web sites, I did not do so for the purpose of judgement or criticism. I did not do that at all......I just wanted to see something that would catch my eye but I did not. I saw so much of the same packaging with new descriptions or pictures or graphics but the same stuff - old wine trying to fit into new wine skins by just tweaking the catch phrases or some such thing. I want the new wine for the new wine skins. Nothing less than that.
So what did this mean to me? Well my paradigms are being shattered to match up with the picture of my purpose for these Kingdom days. My God given purpose in these times. I am unique and individual and must follow my God ordained path. In doing that I will walk in a unique creativity and a pure unity in the Body of Christ for He did indeed make us different and unique.
I am not rereading this as I am writing but just sharing my heart with passion and purpose. It seems when I do that I get so many unsubscribes buy hey, what the heck.......that is truly okay to me now for I want to fit into His plan and not what others assume or presume about me. Long story made short here. Selah.
Okay so back to a few more points. I am not seeking to break out of my current paradigm of church into the Kingdom by simply seeking a new thing but in seeking Him and He will point the way out. Out of what? Out of religion and out of mundane apathetic Christianity. There is only one way out..............by Him, and through Him, and to Him and with Him. There are no shortcuts. He leads the way out and the invitation is available for everyone - not just me. It is for the brave of heart to seek Him and trust Him.
Now to think that this all started because I was not wanting to transition into this building doing the same ole same ole. But what to do? What is creative? What is our purpose? He is showing us step by step, leaning into Him and not our wisdom, our agenda or our self-proclaimed purpose. He leads. We follow.
Now I am laughing for I don't even know when to have the meetings. Do we do them Wednesdays, Sundays, Saturdays, Fridays? Each has its obstacles. What about the kids that come? Do I set up a children's church? What about those who need healing? New converts that need discipleship. What about? What about? Well.....Jesus did not stress about any of this. He only did what He saw the Father doing and so shall Marvin and I. I will not be pulled into a magnetic field of predictability. I also know we are not for everyone but for those whom God sends - TO US.
Thank you Lord. I will match my paradigm to this picture you have placed inside of me of a creative equipping center that is devoid of agenda and busyness. An equipping center that relies on the Holy Spirit to birth new and fresh ideas in our hearts. An equipping center that truly believes that Christians should take personal responsibility in their walk with the Lord and that we are equippers to point the way and help them find their way. An equipping center that does not seek to separate by gender, age or whatever and truly believes that the same Holy Spirit in me is the same Holy Spirit in a 5 year old. What do I do with that? Well He will tell me. So much more but I am off on an incredible journey in the Lord to keep this picture alive in me.
I desire creative people to come to the waters to drink. Those with tremendous gifts of music, song, art and so much else. What am I? I am simply a conductor that sees by the Spirit and encourages those with creativity to step out and BE this unique and wonderful person that God has created them to be..................okay so that's enough for today but something is stirring deep within me after writing this............I love it love it love it. A great adventure lies before us and where it leads, who knows......we simply follow Him.
Selah.
