Looking out at the rain rain rain in California. We are used to sunshine and great weather. What has happened? To me the day is mundane and boring and quite gray. Is that a product of the weather or something going on inside of me?
It reminds me of my childhood when I would whine "There is nothing to do. This is so boring." My mother would answer quite quickly "Go find something to do." And I replied, "There is nothing to do." This is a circular dialogue that could go on forever if you let it. :)
It causes me to question today what it is exactly I want from my Christian walk. Why am I bored? Do I want more meetings? Absolutely not. Do I want more things to do? No not at all. So why are these thoughts hitting me today. All is well in my own world and that which surrounds me in this season of our life. His grace is sufficient and grand towards us as we move out in Rivers of Eden. So why the tumult inside of me? Why am I feeling this way? Well, I don't really want an answer but want to make some observations.
As I have written before and continue to meditate on, there is something like a deep current stirring in the Body of Christ. There is a deep joining going on, first with the Lord and each of us individually as He calls us to continually come apart. And, then, corporately with the Body. I keep wanting to ask my Lord "Is this all there is?" What do I see around me? Constant posts on Facebook from people. Internet intrusions in people's lives. Busyness. Barrenness. Stress. Turmoil. Religion that dulls the spiritual senses. Apathy settling in enmasse. Am I rising above it or am I succumbing to it? I know this is a burden I am carrying today that must be worked through in prayer. Boredom does not require more to do. Boredom requires more of Him, going to the next level of glory with Him and allowing a new wineskin to flow forth and a new Kingdom paradigm to be established.
You see, I have no reason to be bored for in the natural I have a lot to do BUT it is not enough. I am wanting more of God so that in making Himself known to me in greater measure, I can make Him known to others from what flows through me. This is a great time to be feeling this way. We have leased our building and ready to start Rivers of Eden Equipping Center in March but is that enough? No, without Him flooding through our lives and through this ministry with power and glory, it is all mundane. Ministry must be infused with the reality of Jesus Christ or it is not ministry at all but a product of man's flesh.
So I looked to this verse that David quoted above in Scripture. When the religious system had reached its height of fear and trepidation when facing Goliath, they shrank back rather than forge ahead. They accepted the norm that says "Do nothing and wait. Perhaps it will go away." Then David comes in and shakes it up and says "Guys is there not a cause?" Are you content with this? Don't you want more than that?
My answer to this all is YES - I want more than what I see. I want more of Him and we shall have more of Him. For we shall engage the enemy on the Lord's terms - with smooth stones of authority and position in Christ in our new endeavor. We shall step forth into a new territory so this is perhaps the quiet before the storm. A day when I can evaluate the mundane around me. A day when I can see that what many in the church are currently engaged in is a lot of works but so little of the Holy Spirit and the anointing. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm how can I wrap this up and speak with eloquence?
Well I can't because this blog is in process today and I am forming a well inside of me that is saying "More Lord. More." A cry from the heart asking for the New Wine to start flowing as we launch out in ministry. I don't want what I currently see so what is that form that the Holy Spirit will initiate so that we can launch out into the deep waters of risk and adventure. Did I say that? Yes I did. But even risk and adventure is not the cure for boredom...........so what is? What can liven all of us up again? What can stir our fire and passion. Well, it is only Him and nothing else.
Is there not a cause? Yes there is but it is not what we DO but who flows through us. He is our cause and our purpose and our destiny. Okay so here I still sit watching the rain but I am not bored. Why? I am heading out to Starbucks to order a Caramel Macchioto (decaf so I am not up until 3 am) and my boredom will be eased for right now.......at least for a little while. :)
You have such a gift for making visible, putting into words what I have in my heart and mind, but it is always refreshing to see, like an unexpected beautiful animal coming out of the hiddenness for a moment and it brings a holy hush . . . not to scare it off. Thank you for sharing your heart and your gift. It is a pleasure to receive. I see Jesus in your eyes and it makes me love you. Shalom ~ Brenda Rogers
ReplyDeleteAmen... And more of Him we SHALL have together as one in Him. Oh... to let all know... She is not bored anymore and we did not have to go to Starbucks for the dcaf... Praises be to Him, Our Lord and Father, Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeleteMarvin Westbrook
Lately I have been avoiding your blog posts and today I am reminded why. You always seem to touch the very sensitive issues of my heart. Oftentimes you put into words the very pain that I feel. Words that express the longing of my heart, words that say all the things that I try to express to christian friends and family. Unfortunately my thoughts and expressions are met with looks of bewilderment and I am left wondering is it just me. Unlike you I don't always find that place of resolve and it becomes most frustrating for me. I am constantly wrestling with staying where I am (where my mind has been CONDITIONED to play it safe)or stepping out in faith to walk on the waters. I feel myself dying spiritually and that all the God intended for me is going to end up in the grave with me, having made no IMPACT on anyone or anything.
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous Above: What honesty and I am without words. Your honesty is wonderful even if you don't feel that way. Thank you for saying what you have said. Just take it one step at a time. Intimacy with the Lord seems to help in many ways....................unanswered questions are forgotten in His presence, frustrations, although not eliminated are lost in His presence. You are in a tight, very tight place in the cleft of the rock. It is a good place to be but not a comfortable place to be but by His grace...........you will find a path of clarity that will bring you into greater measures of His glory and in that place, you will find yourself.
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